it's my party

you plan a party and
invite all of your
friends. three of
them can't make it,
but the fourth says
she'll try. but
she's the only
one that counts.
and you sweeten
the deal by telling
her that you love
her, but that only
makes her cringe,
and pull the phone
away from her ear.
she doesn't feel that
way about you, but
you don't care.
you want her to come,
there is awkward
silence on the other
end, so you lie to her.
you tell her that
she means nothing to
you, there has never
been any feelings
towards her, but
it's too late. she
has already changed
the maybe to a no in
her mind. you decide
that you need to find
more friends, better
friends and ones that
like you in return and
have more time. you
write this on a sheet
of paper of things
to do in the new year,
and tape it to the
refrigerator. but you
have the party anyway.
you have your dog,
you have chips,
and dip, you have wine
and shrimp neatly
arranged in a circle
in a large white bowl,
you put on a hat,
turn the lights down
and the music up,
you dance and dance,
while your dog watches
from the couch with
his hat on, chewing on
a plastic cup.