new dating rules

no cats allowed,
no dogs, no reptiles,
no kids, we have
rules now. please
check your baggage,
if it fits,
into the overhead
bin and have your
id ready. we don't
want any problems,
or incidents of
any sort. behave.
open wide and say
ahhh, we just need
a little blood now,
a small pinch, okay.
put that cotton ball
on it. there you go.
show me a bank
statement and your
tax return from
last year. oh, and
a divorce decree,
with dry ink.
incarcerations?
medications? empty
your pockets into
the tray and please
step through the
scanner. shoes off.
ever been a member
of the tea party? do
you own any clothing
that says one size
fits all? is face
book the center of
your known universe?
do you twitter, do
you tweet, do you have
calluses on the tips
of your fingers from
texting? no, well
good. move to the
front of the line.
now be quiet,
and all will
be well. we're almost
done here.
be patient and sit
tight. there's
coffee right over
there. someone will be
with you in a moment.
and by the way,
special exceptions
will be made for
well behaved
kids and pets,
so quit rubbing
your hands together
and fidgeting.