guilt no more

in an attempt
to assuage guilt
i begin to clean
the house, starting
with the upstairs
rooms and working
down. so much dust
beneath the beds,
on the dressers,
the sheets need
changing, the
tub scrubbed, floors
need sweeping and shine.
each window needs
a spray and a wipe.
by the second room
i feel a little
better, by the time
i go downstairs, i
need a beer and a
short break, i've
almost forgotten
the reason for my
cleaning binge, but
then it comes back and
i begin to vacuum,
i haul out the trash,
i remove everything
from the fridge,
including all three
ketchup bottles,
toss most of it out
and put the milk
and the vodka back
on the shelf.
a fresh start. that's
what i'm aiming for.
i finally squeeze the
mop full of pinesol
one last time, and
give it a swirl
across the glimmering
kitchen floor. done.
i've completely
forgotten what's
her name.