when DOGE comes to your house

i tell my wife

that from this point forward we're

going to have

a team

from DOGE

come into the house and audit

our books.

we have to find

a way

to cut costs and trim

unnecessary spending.

we need

a strict budget.

i mean, do you really need

two Grande lattes everyday

from Starbucks,

a new pair of shoes

every month,

a massage and a manicure

every week?

you buy something everyday

that we don't

need on Amazon.

the garage is full of unopened

boxes.

she stares at me

and gasps.

if you do this, i'm leaving,

she says.

i'm out of here and i'm taking

my cat with me.

fine, i tell her,

problem solved.