Wednesday, March 6, 2024

the new mail order bride has arrived

i just opened the box up
of my new mail order bride
from the musk foundation,
a subsidiary
of Tesla
and the X rocket company.
the last
bride
accidentally blew her
circuits
when jumping into
the shower with me,
causing a power outage
in the building.
it blew the top right off
her pretty head.
micro chips were everywhere.
the new model is waterproof,
and has updated software
that i can remotely
control if she starts talking
too much
about things i have
no interest in.
she sings, she dances,
she bakes bread and
she sort of makes love,
but in very unconventional
ways. thankfully she comes
with a brochure and step by step
diagrams in nineteen
languages. 
i can't say it's love at first
sight, she's a little on the cold
side, and oddly speaks with
a Chinese accent, but
she's growing on me.
it's definitely nice
 to have her around
to get those unreachable
spots on my back
when i'm taking a shower now.

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