the hotel california

she says, mad as a hornet to me,

my friends have

all seen you on dating sites,

u-date and bumble,

plenty of fish, our time, tinder,

match and e harmony.

silver singles, really!

what's the deal, i thought

we were dating, i thought

we were exclusive.

i quit those sites a year ago,

i tell her.

she picks up a dish to throw

at me.

wait, that's a dish my mother

gave me, i tell her.

so she picks up a different one

and throws that.

i duck.

really, i tell her, once you're

on those sites, they never erase

your info, your pictures,

nothing. for eternity they have you

as a member.

it's like the hotel california.

you can check in but you

can never check out.