wrestling with God

i wrestle with my
religion every now and then.
I struggle
at times with the whole church
thing, the validity of
noah's ark, and the garden
of eden. i'm
full of doubt and worry.
my faith is weak
wondering about
heaven and hell.
purgatory, really?
a weigh station for the unconfirmed
believers?
we get down on the floor
and go at it, on our
hands and knees.
we argue,
get sweaty, we spit
and gouge each other.
kicking is allowed, as is
hair pulling. but in the end
god puts me in a choke hold
and uses the old boston crab
on me, squeezing
the bejeebees out of me
with his super strong legs.
i cry uncle, and tap the floor
in surrender.
then he lets me up,
and stands over me with a smug
look on his face, then
says something like, okay,
now go and sin no more.
i shake me head and murmur
beneath my breath,
like i haven't heard that one
before. i duck as i hear
a bolt of lightning
go by my head.