the swan dive

the rapids
are tempting. perhaps a swan
dive
from the highest rock
into the vortex
of the river
would do the trick.
going under
until my lungs are
empty of air
and full of ageless water.
my arms too tired
to swim,
my legs like leaden pipes
taking me down.
it would be a magnificent
dive.
arms extended, legs
together like I learned
at the airman's pool
on Bolling base when I was
twelve.
my chin would be up.
it would be a ten on all
the judges cards.
i'd keep my eyes wide open
in a final glimpse
of a wonderous world.
hours later
they'd find me in calmer
water, drifting alone in
the low swirl of peace,
which is where I always
wanted to be
in the first place.