in search of

when in search of,
doing the online dating thing,
it's hard to write a profile
telling potential love
interests exactly who you
are, or what you want.
you take your shirt
off, flex a muscle and hold
the camera as far
away as possible
to hide your wrinkles,
you suck in your stomach,
then click.
you take a picture of your
car after washing it.
your kayak. your dog.
you take a photo of the large
mouth bass you just yanked
out of the bay.
you stand in the bathroom
and point the camera
at the mirror.
it's you in a bathrobe,
you in pants without a shirt.
you holding up a beer bottle.
you tell everyone where
you've been, what you've done.
the one time you almost jumped
out of a plane.
your one cruise to the Bahamas.
the time you zip lined
at water world. you don't mention
that you threw up.
you take a picture of
the scrambled eggs you just
cooked. with chopped onions
and cheese. yes.
you love to cook. you like
movies too. you like books
and plan on buying one if you
can find a bookstore.
you write that you're looking
for someone funny.
sexy. in shape. someone with
a job and teeth.
you set the bar high.
smart too. no dumb bells
need apply. must be single, or
almost divorced with no husbands
living in the basement.
she'd be perfect, you write,
if she was donna reed
with a whip. women write back
and ask,
who's donna reed
and do you have any friends
I can meet.