the negotiator

my younger brother once
called me at a party and said
you have
to come home quickly,
Theresa is chasing me
with a knife.
how did you know I was here,
I asked him.
he was out of breath
and I could hear
the furniture
being tossed around.
why is she trying to stab you.
I called her a name,
he said. a bad name.
what name?
I can't say it, she'll throw
the knife
at me.
where is she now.
she's here, i'm holding
her goldfish bowl
so that she doesn't
lunge at me with the knife.
where's mom?
I don't know.
well, okay. i'll be home
in a little while.
tell your sister you're sorry and
that you'll never call her
that name again.
go ahead.
I sip my beer and listen
as he tells her he's sorry.
okay, he says.
she says, she'll put
the knife down. good
good, now hand her the goldfish
bowl.
I am. are we good now?
yes, yes.
okay. we'll go watch tv,
or do your homework or something.
i'll be home soon.
hide the knives outside
near the rose bush.