donut day

you see online
that there is
a new diet
that involves
stapling
your lips shut
for three months.
they leave
only enough room
for a thin
straw with which
you can suck
soup out of.
or slip in a
bird seed or two.
it's guaranteed
to make you
lose thirty pounds
in ninety days
or your
lips and money
back.
interesting you
say, to no one,
as you eat another
chocolate covered
glazed donut
on national donut
day.