off to mars

you decide to
join the space
program again, not
because you want
to go anywhere, but
to test a
relationship
that you are
insecure about.
they need men
who want to go
to mars, and you
don't have anything
going on this week
or the next.
you're on
vacation. so you
train hard
squinting into
the sun, learning
which buttons
to push to lift
off and to settle
down into the soft
red dust.
you bring some
magazines along,
some gum, some
nuts, a diet soda.
you get a pet
sitter for your dog,
and tell the postman
to not deliver
anything for awhile.
you tell your
girlfriend not to
wait, if she
doesn't want to.
these trips can
be dangerous and
one never knows if
you'll return, but
if she wants to
wait and be faithful,
well, that's good.
she doesn't realize
that this is all
a test,
and she says, okay,
but in a maybe
kind of way, and
you nod, whatever.
and as the space
ship takes
off towards mars,
you look back
and see her wave
while she talks on
her cell phone.
it looks like she's
wearing a new
dress, and shoes.
she's wearing lipstick
too. you were right
about her all
along, she wasn't
to be trusted.
but now you can
relax and enjoy
the trip, done with
that worry.