dog therapist

i decided to
put my dog
into therapy
last week. he
was acting very
passive agressive.
turning his back
on me when i
stayed out too
late, or if the
walks were too
short he'd
sleep at the end
of the bed instead
of curled up
beside me.
sometimes he'd
chew up someone's
clothes if they
spent the night.
the therapist noted
that he was
still having
trouble with separation
anxiety from when
he was a pup, being
taken off the farm
from his mother
and father and other
siblings. his constant
barking was a cry
for attention, as
was his tearing up
the trash and
chewing the furniture
and clothing. you
need to show him
more love and affection.
do fun things with
him. throw him a ball
once in a while.
teach him some tricks.
maybe take him to doggy
day spa where they
can do his nails
and give him a nice
warm bath.
i suggested that
maybe he was
only a dog and he
needed to get over
himself, and this
was how dogs
behaved, he likes
to jump in the creek
and chase squirrels
and then roll in
dead animal carcasses,
i told her. can't
i just hit him with
a belt or something.
oh no, she said
loudly and quickly
quoted jung
and freud and asked
me to put my dog
into a group program
with other dogs
and if that didn't
work perhaps a mild
dose of puppy valium
and some shock
therapy. acupuncture
is very effective too,
she said. i asked her
what this was going
to cost to get my dog
back on track,
healthy and well behaved
again, and she smiled
and said how much is
this dog worth to you?
you love him don't you?