white christmas

surprisingly, i was
singing in the car
the other day. i
shocked myself.
it just came out
of nowhere.
wasn't i still
supposed to be sad,
in mourning, in deep
dark distress about
a girl i fell in love
with and couldn't
keep or have, or,
what the hell, it's
so confusing now,
but anyway.
i was singing that old
standard 'white
christmas', and doing
a fine job with it.
impersonating a
voice somewhere between
sinatra, bing, and
sammy davis junior.
but i can't hit those
low notes very well,
or the high notes
for that matter,
and i couldn't
remember all of
the words, or stanzas,
but i plowed ahead
and just repeated what
i knew over and over
again. it felt really
good and crazy.