photo albums

you forget sometimes
how far away you are
from the start.
the photo albums
seem surreal at times
and you wonder who
that is in the photo,
with a head full
of brown hair holding
up your two year old
son, near the christmas
tree. and everyone
looks younger, your wife
is lean, and pretty
and as usual dressed
as if in church. and
somehow everyone appears
to be happier, even
me, although i know for
a fact that that isn't
true. it was a
different world then,
illusionary, and yet
real, all at the
same time. holding
on to a pretend
marriage, because it's
what you had to do.
what she had to do,
until it was time to end.