this is where you'll live

you decide that this
is where you'll live.
this is where you'll
open the boxes of
your life, put your
furniture, hammer nails
into the wall for
your pictures, place
your bed against
the wall that gives
the most light. you
decide that this is
where you'll be for
a long time. and you
will drink coffee at
the small table in
the kitchen, and let
the cat sit on the
sill above the sink.
and the dog will lie
on back of the couch
and watch the birds
and squirrels. you
decide that this is
where you'll sleep,
where you'll fall into
dreams deep into
night, when winter turns
to spring and you will
be happy in your solitary
life, you will
find comfort in your
choice living here.
you will embrace
the seasons from your
back window. and you
will lie to yourself
everday, over and over
and say that this
is enough, my books,
my house, my pets,
my writing. you will
try so hard to believe
that it is enough, and make
it come true, but it
isn't so. and
the absence of love
will overwhelm you and
you'll fear that this
is it, that this is all
there is and you'll
question where did
all of that time go.