ah ha

my new best friend
beth, my counselor,
adivsor, paid
therapist, at least
for this short spell
until i get to the
other side of this
bridge, pointed out
that clearly i sought
chaos, because that
is what i know having
grown up in a whirlwind
of shifting sand,
and storms, violence
and infidelity. it was
an ah ha moment, to
say the least. you feel
safest when things
are unstable, when the
winds are blowing, and
seas are crashing
against the boat. i'm
still nodding and shaking
my head at how true
that insight is. quite
an epiphany.
whatever i've paid
her, it's not enough.
in search of peaceful
shores. hmmm.