to the moon alice

dear alice,
my life as
an astronaut has
not been what
i thought it would
be. i'm bored
out of my mind.
i'm typing this
on my new phone,
i hope you get it.
my fingers are so
large though with
these crazy gloves
on and i'm hitting
three keys at once.
the moon is such
a muse for poetry,
and yet i'm tired
of the moon.
the dark side
is exactly like
the light side.
there is no
mystery there.
surprise, a cold
hard rock that
reflects sunlight.
amazing, dust.
craters. that's
about it. i wanted
to join the program
because i wanted
to be free
from gravity,
to float in the air.
that seemed like
fun. gravity has
been keeping me
down way too long.
plus, i wanted
to be free from
you and your constant
nagging. to put some
distance between
us. see how you
like those long
silences. but now
i miss you. i itch
though, from this
urinary tract
infection which
may cause a problem
when i return, that is
if you are ever in
the mood again. sorry
about that last time.
i was a little over
anxious. my bad.
i'm hungry all
the time too. these
turkey and gravy pellets
just aren't getting
it done. i signed
up for the mars
voyage, but i'm
not sure if i want
to go now. it's so
far, and it takes
so long to get there.
and for what. more
rocks, more dust,
more nothing. i'm
constantly afraid of
running out of air.
every dream i have
is about that. being
sucked out of the
window into the
black void of space
gasping for air.
but you'd like that
though, wouldn't
you, wouldn't you
alice. sorry,
sorry, space makes
me a little
crazy sometimes.
well, i have to go
now, there's some
red lights blinking
and a siren going
off, i'm getting
dizzy. i hope to god
it's not the air
supply. i'll write
more later if i'm
still alive.
behave while
i'm gone. love you,
jimmy. xxxooo.