heckler in the crowd

there was always one guy

in the crowd

a heckler, giving Jesus a hard time

at his sermons,

following him from town to town,

hoping for a free meal 

and wine.

what's up with all the stories,

he'd yell out,

the metaphors,

we're not all in the Mensa

club here.

don't quit your day job,

he'd shout. but

Jesus would ignore him

and press on, having

incredible focus

and no need for cue cards.

just give us the scoop,

the man would yell,

give it to us straight.

come on, i heard this same

sermon back in Judea.

really, camel through the eye

of a needle.

my brain hurts just

trying to envision that.

woman at the well, water

into wine? throw the net

over the side of the boat?

what are you some kind

of magician?

jimminy crickets, quit beating

around the burning bush

and just give us the rules

for staying out of hell.

the crowd would murmur

and get restless

waiting for a lightning bolt

to take the guy out.

eventually Peter

would go over

with his giant staff and give

the guy a look,

which quieted him down, then

he'd signal the wine pourer, Mary,

that this guy was cut off.