for a pow wow.
he's finally over his divorce
and is back online
dating again.
he's joined all the sites.
match and zoosk, plenty of fish,
senior match,
our time,
christian mingle,
jewish singles.
catholic singles.
atheist singles.
face book,
elite singles,
udate,
eharmony, bumble and tinder.
how's it going,
i ask him.
i'm exhausted, he tells me.
whew.
i have callouses on my fingers
from texting.
women love to text not
to mention eat,
and they drink like fish.
when the check comes
they all suddenly have to go
to the bathroom.
what up with that?
they have cobwebs on their purses.
two drinks each, a plate
of spinach dip
and calamari and i'm out
a hundred bucks,
not to mention the 50 dollar parking
ticket i get from expired
meters. i think i might have
to get a part time job.
and i think i gained twenty pounds,
and my blood pressure
is up twenty points.
i got slapped the other
day when i tried to kiss one date
after i dropped
two hundred dollars on her
at Capital Grille.
maybe i should have stayed
with the ex.
she was nuts, a liar, cheater,
and i was getting the same amount
of sex, which is zero,
but it would have been
cheaper to keep her.
1 comment:
Ah there you go again, Jimmy,
bashing women, choosing the wrong ones
the ones with their breasts round and plump
in their online profiles, their skimpy clothes
and big hair. You pass over the ones who might be
real, older maybe, like you, with gray hair,like the one you left behind. You bring
this one to the bar and sit mesmerized by
something, eyes fixed imagining, not really caring anyway, but thinking
all the same, yes I can do this, I want this. Knowing all the while
that this woman only wants one thing and it is not you as she orders another tall Tanqueray and tonic, nervously twirling her hair, you do this for a while and a while and a while more. The check comes and she has to go "freshen up" she says, "powder her nose" yes she says that and you think and here we go again. Meanwhile across town, Madge or Midge or whoever it was that was a little plump in the wrong places or had three cats or you didn't like her hair or she wasn't your type. Well, this is your type, James old buddy, you picked this one. Yet again.
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