the devil's black box

if this call has been recorded, well
then, please forgive me. I don't often use
language like this, except when
driving, or in line at the grocery
store behind someone with coupons,
talking on their cell phone. i'm sorry,
but my old cable box, installed by
grandma moses does not have an HDMI slot,
so my new television that sits on top
of my dresser cannot be used until
this is fixed. the box hasn't worked
in six months, but because it's raining
and I had a day off, I thought
i'd take care of this small, but
important issue. I'm tired of covering
the blinking lights with a sock.
I like to watch tv in bed
and eat snacks with my dog,
or current love interest, excuse me for living.
so, after an hour or more of screaming
into the phone, after you've cleverly
hidden your customer service number
for anyone over the age of 50, and yelling
my last name, the first three
letters of my name, my phone number,
and the word agent, agent, agent,
over and over again until I start coughing,
finally I have you on the phone.
I know it's very late or early over there
in India or Singapore, or wherever you are,
but please,
you have to help me. for the love of God,
or Allah, or a sacred cow,
send me a new box. that's all i'm asking.
a new cable box built in this decade.
is that too much to ask?