scratch off

I won't do another test
your father
says to you, weary on the phone.
I've
done all that they've asked.
they've examined me
inside and out.
to hell with them.
I want the operation now.
I want to see
again.
I want to drive,
to read,
to shop
and stick another twenty
into the scratch off machine
to see what I've won
or not won
just one more time.