intentional heartache

it's a sterile room.
of greens and blue,
nothing too bold
to frighten you.
the machines hum
gently, like wired
angels with lights
for eyes. buttons
for noses, gauges
for mouths.
the doctor will be
with you shortly.
put this on, no,
the other way,
now lean back
and breathe deeply.
give me your finger.
raise your arm.
have you traveled outside
the country lately,
are you on any
medications, drugs
or alcohol. have
you thought of hurting
yourself. no, you
say to all of it.
hurting myself?
not intentionally.
but there is pain
over one person in
particular. I may be
to blame for that.