a bag of rice

you have some extra
money lying around
so you go out and buy
one of those new fangled
cars that drive themselves.
all you do is hit
the start button,
type in your destination,
buckle up and off
you go. no braking,
no gas, no turn signals,
nothing to do but
relax, lean back
and maybe have
a chicken dinner,
or read a book.
you love your new car
and all of it's computer
wizardry. but
then you forget to
close the moon roof
one rainy night, or rather
your car forgets and
the entire dashboard
gets wet, which
causes everything to
go haywire. the horn
is beeping.
signals are flashing,
it's going backwards
when it should be
going forward.
in a panic you call up
the dealership,
and chip, the head
mechanic calms you down.
here's what you need to
do, he says. do you
have a garage, or
a giant cardboard
box? or better yet
a big plastic tent?
great, a garage.
fill the garage up
with rice, preferably
white rice, after
pulling the car in
and shutting off
the ignition,
cover the whole car,
the entire car
with rice. keep pouring
and pouring it on
until you can no
longer see any of
the car. now
wait 48 hours.
that should dry out
all those little tiny
computer parts that must
have gotten wet.
do that, and you should
be good to go. if that
doesn't work. drive
it in and we'll have
a look see.