camping out

let's go camping,
she says.
but i don't like
beans, you tell her,
not in a can, not over
an open fire. plus,
the ground is too
hard, i can't sleep
like an animal.
no, no, she says.
we have air mattress
and quiche,
and i'll fry us up
some pork chops
on the grill
and roasted potatoes.
it will be fun to be
out in the wilderness.
what about the game,
you tell her, i'll
miss the game.
oh no you won't
she says. i have
a generator that will
provide us with
heat and electricity.
we'll bring the small tv.
we'll have all
the comforts of home,
she says smiling,
packing utensils
into her backpack.
what about grizzly
bears, you ask her,
rubbing your eyebrowns,
shifting your feet.
pffft. that's why i have
this rifle, and this
stun gun and this bear
away spray. come on,
don't be a girly man
sissy, let's go.
then she holds up a
bag from victoria secrets.
and raises her eyebrows
up and down.
new camping sleepwear
she says. and i have
heels to match.
let's go you say.
let me get my hat.