smokes

you are hired by an advertising
firm to help raise sales
of tobacco products.
it's going to be tough though
because of the cancer scare,
heart disease, emphseyma,
and birth defects, and the fact
that over six hundred thousand
people die in the united states
alone from smoking,
but they've seen your work and
find you creative and smart.
they feel that you are the right
man for the job. the chairman
of the board shakes your hand
and says, go to it son, let's
sell some cigarettes. so you
tell him your plan. you turn off
the lights, click on the first
slide  and with a pointer
go through your advertising
campaign.  columbus was
a smoker, you start off with.
showing the santa maria
with columbus at the helm,
a camel in his mouth as he
points towards shore.
the next slide comes up
showing michelangelo on
his back painting the sistine
chapel with a marlboro
tucked in the corner of his
mouth. you proceed, photo
after photo. einstien with
a winston, waving it at a
diagram of an atom, there's
john glenn orbiting the earth
with a wad of chewing tobacco
drooling from his lips. moses
crossing the red sea,
staff in one hand,
a tarreyton in the other.
kennedy and kruschev lighting
each other's cigars with a
bic lighter ending the stalemate
on the cuban missles.
there's joan of arc, smoking
a virginia slim
while burning at the stake.
george washington with
a pack of pall malls rolled
up in his sleeve as he
crosses the delaware.
there's jonas salk blowing
smoke rings as he shouts
eureka when he figures out
the polio vaccine.
finally you end by saying,
all these people smoked like
chimneys. what have you
done lately. don't be a loser.
light up and be someone
special. have a smoke
today! the chairman of the board,
turns on the lights, tears
in his eyes. brilliant he
says, brilliant. here have
a cigarette, ummm, no
thanks you tell him. don't
want to get sick.