making myself taller

a new neighbor moves
in across the courtyard.
a swedish stewardess
who goes by the name Lenka.
she is about six feet tall
in her heels
so you try to make yourself
taller by stretching
your legs and hanging
from a bar you've
secured in the doorframe
of your laundry room
with potatoes strapped
to your ankles.
you do this for weeks on
end, but it makes your arms
hurt after about ten minutes.
you measure yourself
after two months of stretching
but it seems that you
might be a little bit
smaller. you put on your
jeans and now you have
to cuff them. people are
calling you shorty, hey
shorty, watch where you're
walking, i couldn't even
see you over the hood
of my car. you start getting
calls from the circus
and stunt double movies
involving small cars
and clowns. this has not
worked out the way you
thought it would. sadly you
look out your window,
and there's Lenka
walking to her car. she has
a date with her and
her arm is lowered
around his shoulders while
she pats his head.
i can see by his shoes
that he has lifts and cuban
heels.