what are you wearing

your friend
lorraine
at one in
the morning
under the soft
red haze
of pinot noir
texts you
and says
so what are
you wearing.
you can smell
the booze on
her lips
from here
thirty miles
away.
so you respond
back and say,
plaid, i'm
wearing all
of my plaid
clothes at
the moment,
including my
underwear. i
even have a plaid
hat on. hound's
tooth i
believe it's
called. and what
about you,
you ask, as you
hear her
gagging on
the other end.
i'll be right
back she says.
i think i drank
too much and ate
too many pieces
of fried calamari.