the easy question

she brings a lie
detector into
the kitchen and sets
it on the table.
what's that for,
you ask her, looking
up from your
bacon and eggs,
the newspaper
in your hands.
give me your arm,
she says, i need
to ask you a few
questions before
we get married.
who said we were
getting married?
no one, she says.
but in case you ever
ask me, i need to
know a little bit more
about you.
well, i think we're
jumping the gun here,
you tell her, but sure
go ahead, i've got
nothing to hide.
i'm an open book.
give me your arm,
she says, so you roll
up the sleeve on your
bathrobe and give
her your arm. why
are you shaking, she
says, attaching
the velcro band
and turning
on the machine.
sweat drips down your
face and you feel
a little seasick. i'm
not shaking, it's
the coffee, caffeine
makes me nervous.
pffft, she says, okay,
lets get started
with a simple
question. a yes or
no answer will do.
are you in love with me?
suddenly the needle
starts fluctuating
wildly across the roll
of paper. smoke rises
from the machine as
it vibrates violently
and crashes down.
i thought we were going
to start with the easy
questions, you tell
her slipping out of
the sleeve. oh well.
hey, are we out of
orange juice, i
couldn't find any
in the fridge?