smoking a pipe

i started smoking
a pipe the other day
thinking that i needed
to raise the ante
on sophistication.
making a point
with a pipe, holding
it in your hand
and waving it about
seems to make
the point more viable
and interesting
as opposed to motioning
with a chicken drumstick
or a lollipop.
but there were
complications.
it's hard to smoke
a pipe and wear shorts
and a t-shirt,
tennis shoes.
it just doesn't
seem right. so i
needed a whole new
wardrobe of long pants
and smoking jackets
with a crest
on the front.
then there was
the equipment, the pipe
cleaners, the stems
and what not.
there's a lot
of tapping, and poking
at the pipe, getting
the bowl clean.
it's work being
sophisticated. lighting
and relighting,
spitting out the little
bits of tobacco stuck
your tongue. this may
last a day or two, if
i can get past
the choking and sneezing,
the watery eyes.