the lab report

the mechanic,
comes to you with
head down,
staring at his clipboard
like a doctor
who has seen
the x-rays and
the lab report.
he shakes his head,
holding bad news.
you put down
the good housekeeping
magazine dated
1994 with betty white
on the cover when
she was only 60
and listen
as he takes
a seat next to
you. you need oil,
he says, good oil,
maybe a synthetic
blend, and your filter,
he says, holding
it out to you
like a burned
out liver, look at
it. I suggest
you let us install
a new one.
you are choking
the life out of
your engine, it
can't get air. if
I put this oily rag
over you mouth
and nose, cutting
off your oxygen supply,
what would happen
he says sincerely.
I'd die? you say,
inching backwards
in your slippery chair.
right he says.
so new filter? yes, you
say. do what you have
to do. transmission
fluid? yes, you say.
new windshield wipers?
other than oil, wipers
are the most
important part of
your automobile.
what about tires,
you ask. they sort
of seem important too.
we don't do tires, he says,
but we can rotate them
for you. okay, you say,
sure. rotate them.
good he says,
now sign right here.
there's coffee over there,
it's fresh,
we made it last
month, but it's hot,
so be careful.
and I just want to
tell you sir, you are
making the right
decisions here today
at Lube Job.