bee stings are fine

i'm thinking about getting a

push up bra,

betty tells me over the phone.

okay.

i tell her. good idea. beats

the other options.

i just want my clothes to fit

better.

right, i tell her. of course you do.

no really, when i look in the mirror

i'm like a surfboard, i got

nothing going on in that department.

men always look at women

with big bazooms.

i sigh.  bazooms?

well, do what you have to do.

it's your decision, your body.

stuff some kleenex in there if you want.

so you're saying no. stick to what

i have.

which is small case A cup

i got zero cleavage. zero.

pfffft, so what.

men don't really care,

i tell her.

whether you have enormous bazooms

up there, or bee stings.

it's who you are inside that matters.

what kind of person you are.

oh my god, she says.

who are you?

how many martinis have you had

tonight?