adrift at 5 a.m.

I stumble
down the stairs on one hour
of sleep.
I can't wait to get home
and I haven't
even left yet.
I find my clothes
in the dark,
brush my teeth, wash
my face.
I don't even look in
the mirror.
why bother.
why upset me even more
with that.
I fix a cup of coffee,
find my shoes,
my stack of underlined
self help books.
I grab my keys, my wallet,
my phone.
I got nothing on the phone.
the world
has changed.
not a call, or text.
nothing. i'm truly alone
in this.
i'm adrift
at five in the morning
wondering
if life will ever be
sane again.