if i had a man

if I had a man,
then, and finally then,
i'll be happy, she tells
me on the phone
as she uncorks
a bottle of chardonnay.
why don't men like me?
i'm smart, i'm
attractive, I have a great
job,
my kids are all gone,
i'm not in debt and don't
have any major illnesses,
what's wrong with me?
what?
I ask her,
I was just fanning the smoke
alarm
because I burned
some pizza slices
in the oven?
damn cheese caught fire.
what were you saying?