the learning curve

I've set aside
most science, most math,
most biology, but

it's still somewhere 

inside of me,

in the attic
of my brain.
I've studied hard to put
it there.
to give it room,
to memorize
such things as the bones
of a body,
the periodic table,
the planets
in order of distance
from the sun.

so many tests.
how many nights did I

fall asleep 
with pencil
and paper in hand,

trying to solve an equation,

or diagram a sentence,

but what good is that now?
all that knowledge

means nothing while

i sit here on this cold

park bench

and wonder

if you really love me.