change your life

the book promises to change your life
in seven days.
why just seven days.
why not seven minutes.
you want it now.
you skip and skim through
the book looking for gems
of wisdom.
searching for that one
line that boils it all down
to an essential truth
that you've somehow missed
in your time here on earth.
you want the epiphany
now. but no, there is a cd
too that you must listen
to. lie down and be still
breathe. it says, close your eyes
and imagine that you are
in a safe and peaceful place.
tell yourself how wonderful
you are. who doesn't know that
you mumble to yourself.
breathe, the voice says.
inhale exhale. let it all go.
this makes you sleepy,
this makes you want to call
your friend Alice and ask
her to come over
and to brink vodka
and to wear high heels.
the dog comes over, as you
try to control your breathing,
and licks your face. he wags
his tail, liking that you are
lying on the floor.
he curls beside you
as you listen to the man on
the cd drone on about
finding your happy place.
again, you think of Alice.