the new you

the new sixty
is fifty,
the new red is orange,
the new beef
is buffalo.
the new shirt is
a poncho.
the new way of thinking
is the old way
with a twist.
the new kiss is a bite.
an hour is now a minute.
a day a week.
a year, forever.
the new shoe is a loafer.
the new breakfast
is eggs with turkey
bacon.
the new you is an old you,
with a limp
and without hair.