pip pip ole chum

to break up
the day, you walk
about speaking
in a british accent,
turning each
statement into a
question.
having a nice day,
are we, eh?
you say to the toll
booth operator,
who ignores you,
handing you change,
pointing
in the direction that
he wants you to move
your vehicle.
cheerio, you yell
out as you pull
away in your motor
car.
I say, dear woman,
do you have the time?
you say to the barista
behind the counter
in her green smock.
I believe I need
a cup of tea
about now, perhaps
a butter pie, would
be nice as well, eh?
what are you, a limey,
she says.
you don't look like
a limey. in fact
you've been coming
in here for years
ordering coffee.
usual?
why yes, my lovely lass.
top of the morning
to you.
make it a double with
a splash of cream,
if you could be
so kind. don't forget
that butter pie. warm
it up in the fire,
eh? I shall be back
momentarily as I need
to visit the loo.