discount sermon

the preacher
lets the assistant preacher,
the new deacon,
take over
for a while.
he stumbles at first,
nervous about his
first sermon, he pauses,
flips through
the pages
of his bible,
looking for bookmarked
passages,
things he's
highlighted. let's take
Job for example, he
says loudly,
during the great
flood, what did he
do. did he quit.
no siree bob.
he went out and
made himself a boat
so that all the animals
could climb aboard.
he didn't know the first
thing about ship
building, being
a shepherd by day.
this is when the preacher
says ahem, ahem.
and whispers, noah
to the deacon.
right, the deacon
says. and what about
noah, did he flinch
when the tower
of babel fell down,
or when god appeared
to him in the burning
bush. hell no. he went out
and wrote down
the ten commandments
on a slab of stone.
ahem, the preacher
whispers. don't say
hell. say heck.
right right.
and what about jesus?
heck, my landscaper's
name is jesus.
and he's a good man.
okay, okay. the preacher
says, standing back
up and giving the deacon
the stop motion by
putting a hand to
his neck. let's have
a moment of silent prayer
and give thanks for
the cookies and punch
we are about to eat.