things you learn along the way

eat italian food
in an italian restaurant.
greek in a greek.
don't date women
with handguns
in their purse, or
women with husbands
still living
in the basement.
don't tell your
mother any secrets
that you don't want
the world to know.
never ask how old
someone is, or how
much they weigh
especially around
the holidays.
no, sometimes, really
means no. say nothing
when you know
nothing. avoid
eye contact with
strangers who approach
you on the street
with a clipboard.
don't sky dive,
bungee jump, or
pick up a snake.