doubt

she doesn't believe
in God, not exactly,
and asks the usual
questions about where,
and why, and how could
he allow children to
perish, or anyone to
suffer in a painful way.
what morality is there
in that, especially from
God. i shrug, i take
a sip of my coffee and
stare out the window at
the immense bay,
the bruised blue water,
holding the dark sky,
jagged with white breaking
waves. the sailboats
are racing home.
i don't know, i tell her,
but i do believe.
i believe it all.
i know that the water
will be calm again, but
i have my doubts too.