this is why i ghosted her

over the Home Depot

loud speaker

i hear my name being called out.

please come

to the customer service

desk at the front

of the store. urgent.

i push my cart down the aisle,

full of paint cans and lumber,

shaking my head.

what's this about?

when i get there, there's a short

woman in a wig,

with her hands

on her hips.

the spitting image

of Rosie O'Donnell.

so there you are, she says.

what happened?

you said you were going to call me.

but no,

i gave you my number

three years ago,

and you never did.

i waited night after night

by the phone.

crying with my cats.

you ghosted me on Facebook

and on BottomoftheBarrel Match.com

you disappeared just like that.

ummm,

sorry but who are you and how

exactly did you find me?

i come in here everyday

and have them page you, and finally

here you are.

so, buddy boy, what's the deal?

you don't like me, or what?

i think

you owe me dinner and drinks.