going into the repair and restore shop

the plumber

tells me that he's getting two

new knees

and a hip

for Christmas,

so perhaps you should schedule

your work

now, he says.

i tell him

about my cataract surgery

and seven

new teeth implants.

my sister's getting

a new kidney

on Friday,

and my aunt just had a chip

put into her

head

so that she can hear now.

that's nothing, he says.

my brother got a new heart,

last year,

and my wife

just got new breasts. here,

take a look.

he shows me a picture of his wife

on his phone.

ooo la la, i tell him.

there's definitely a lot of shade

under her now.