rating gas station bathrooms

i get a new

job

reviewing gas station rest rooms.

they give

me a hazmat

suit,

long rubber boots

and gloves,

and an oxygen mask

to breathe with.

there's always a key attached

to a long

paddle

or wrench

that you use to

unlock the doors

if there is a door still on

rusted hinges.

i score them

on a scale of one to ten,

most

are zero.

although the graffiti

i find

fascinating,

the crude sketches of body

parts, hillbilly

hieroglyphics,

with names and phone numbers

beneath

them.

sometimes there are coins

stuck to the tiles

or seats of the toilet,

if there is one.

the sinks are generally

yellow

or brown,

with a weak drip of water.

no paper towels.

nothing flushes anymore,

and the mirror

is a dull sheet

of aluminum, the glass gone.

but there's a mottled window,

cracked open,

where a sparrow

has made

a twig and grass home,

so i give this one, one star.