jumping into a field of cows

i don't trust

this

parachute packed onto

my back,

tightened with straps.

my sweating hand

grips

the silver ring.

i ask for two more chutes.

the pilot

laughs.

we're almost there,

he says,

pointing

to a field

of cows, in Orange County,

get ready 

to jump, he says

over the loud wind

and engine

of his small wobbling plane.

I'm sweating,

my heart is thumping.

i'm scared.

i haven't felt this

way since

walking down the aisle,

full of maybes.