the island diet

let's go on a diet together,
she says to you,
as you dig out
the last spoon of ice
cream from the small tub
of ben and jerry's
chunky monkey.
do we have any whipped cream
left, you ask. needing one
squirt to top it off.
nope. I used it all on
the jello we had yesterday.
so what kind of diet are
we talking about?
no bread, no pasta, just cardboard
tasting food?
no, not at all. it's the new
island diet.
fruits and vegetables, fish.
natural things.
pineapples and coconuts.
what about wild boar?
boars are natural and run
wild all over many islands.
maybe in limited amounts.
we need to get ready for
our cruise this summer.
I tried on my tent dress
the other day and it was kind
of tight.
okay. let's do it, but first
it might be a good idea
to finish off that bacon
in the fridge. why waste
it and it will go bad in
a few weeks if we don't
eat it. right? right, she says.
scramble up some eggs
too, toast?
whole wheat for me, you tell her.
one pad of butter.