the badger 9000

you purchase
the badger 9000 garbage
disposal.
it's big, it's strong,
it's a woman
from the Ukraine.
it has the ability
and horsepower
to pull
a water skier across
the Chesapeake bay.
it can chew up
chicken bones,
turkey legs, wedding rings,
metal spoons, even
your neighbor's tray
of tuna surprise,
including the aluminum
pan
she carried it
over in.
you love your badger
9000, you are no longer worried
about the celery
you chopped up for your dinner
party,
clogging up the works,
stopping the whole thing,
making you find and push
that little red button
on the bottom
to reboot itself.
you may even take a picture
of it with
your phone and post it
on facebook.
she's wonderful.