i understand

I understand. I do.
I really do get it.
but i'll play it out just
the same
as if I don't know. i'll dumb
myself down
and forget everything I've
ever learned about heartache.
i'll act as if this
is the first time.
i'll stop eating, i'll
toss in my sleep.
i'll stare endlessly
into the woods as I walk
with my grief.
i'll send random cards
and leave messages on
her phone. i'll do all of
this, as I've done since
day one.
I understand. I do.
just let me get on with it.