the salad bar

normally i am not
an impatient man,
i can sit in traffic
for hours on end
and it won't bother
me in the least.
the bank, pffft,
the line moves slowly,
but what's the rush,
however when it comes
to the salad bar
at the grocery store,
i need my salad now.
i want to yell out
to the two women
in front of me
talking about
whatever to move on.
take your finger
off your indecisive
chin and decide.
pick a shred
of lettuce, romaine
or iceberg, those
are your choices.
pick one.
you can actually
grab more than one
leaf at a time too.
this tin you carry
is not for show
and tell, nobody's
putting it on display.
oprah is not going
to suddenly appear
and put your salad
on her show. those
chick peas are not
diamond earrings,
ladle on a few
and giddyup.
select your mini
mutant corn and get
going. those beets,
don't roll them all
around, they are
all the same. spear
one out of that soupy
red goop and plop in
the mix. same goes
for those eggs,
digging to the bottom
is not going to
get you a better one.
and yes, if you
turn the bottle of
honey mustard dressing
upside down, and tap
it, eventually it
will come out, no
need to go get
the manager. no, don't
stop, keep moving.
bacon bits, shake it
out baby, shake it.
don't forget your sporks.