my new books

eat less,
walk more
is the title
of my new
self help
diet book.
oprah thinks
it's swell.
speak less,
think more, is
on the way
too and will
be on a book
store shelf
before you
know it. the
cover is a
mouth closed
by a zipper,
there are
plans too
for shutup,
while the
movie is on,
and quit kicking
my seat, plus
in paperback
soon is
please, use
your turn
signal, moron.
but that may
sound harsh.
so i'm working
on a new title
for the second
printing.
i also have a
rough draft for
the book titled,
why my mother
doesn't have
my cell phone
number, but
it's only in
the outline
stage. i will
be signing
them at various
bookstores
across the
country. bring
money.